My roomie, Momo posted on her Sparkling and Chic blog about the new Lanvin <3 H&M collection.
I am usually not a fan of these types of collabs as I think high fashion designers and low-end clothing stores should be kept separate.
However! I think this line is fabulous and so does my fashion savvy roomie.
Also, I really like this moving picture of walking Lanvin <3 H&M shoes and wanted to share it.
11.19.2010
Sometimes You Want To Go...Where Everybody Knows Your Name
I moved to Gramercy Park with Momo at the beginning of November but we've been so busy unpacking and reorganizing our lives that we had yet to explore our new 'hood until this past Wednesday.
We got all dolled up and managed to leave our apartment only an hour and a half later than originally scheduled. Despite the cold weather we opted to go sans jackets and walked, slightly freezing, the few short blocks to, stop #1, the new Gansevoort Hotel on Park Avenue.
There was no line at the door (it was a Wednesday night) but nonetheless we were stopped by the bouncer. No, it's not what you're thinking, we were allowed in, the hotel was just dealing with a minor incident at the rooftop bar. I mean, some girl got her head cracked open and was bleeding all over the floor. NBD. We were told it would be a two to five minute wait but the bouncer let us in after about thirty seconds. He escorted us to the elevator and told us to act as though we were already inside. Of course I missed this last bit and proceeded to make comments on the very pretty hotel lobby. I totally dig the purple chandeliers.
Plunge was fun, and while Momo was a little afraid of the floor-to-ceiling windows I loved them.
Our next stop was The Hurricane Club. We did not stay here for that long because mostly everyone was dining. I need to eat here, this place is beautiful. Someone take me? K, thanks.
The last and final stop of the night was at The Polar Lounge. Momo does a great job of describing the interior in her post A Night in Gramercy in Review.
At TPL we received free shots from the very good looking bartenders and had our picture taken by a Perrier promoter.
There are pictures of polar bears all around the bar and I swear they remind me of Parker, even though he is neither a bear or white.
The very best part about this lounge is that it is on the corner of my street. I had yet to realize this because TPL is located in the basement of the Marcel Hotel at Gramercy and the door is unmarked. We had such a great time that there is no doubt in my mind that Momo and I will be drinking at this lounge quite often.
I knew I would miss the East Village when I left it but, after "roomie night out" #1, it seems a love of Gramercy Park has commenced.
We got all dolled up and managed to leave our apartment only an hour and a half later than originally scheduled. Despite the cold weather we opted to go sans jackets and walked, slightly freezing, the few short blocks to, stop #1, the new Gansevoort Hotel on Park Avenue.
There was no line at the door (it was a Wednesday night) but nonetheless we were stopped by the bouncer. No, it's not what you're thinking, we were allowed in, the hotel was just dealing with a minor incident at the rooftop bar. I mean, some girl got her head cracked open and was bleeding all over the floor. NBD. We were told it would be a two to five minute wait but the bouncer let us in after about thirty seconds. He escorted us to the elevator and told us to act as though we were already inside. Of course I missed this last bit and proceeded to make comments on the very pretty hotel lobby. I totally dig the purple chandeliers.
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| Via GansevoortPark.com |
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| Via GansevoortPark.com |
Our next stop was The Hurricane Club. We did not stay here for that long because mostly everyone was dining. I need to eat here, this place is beautiful. Someone take me? K, thanks.
 | ||
| Via Thrillist.com |
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| Via NYCPolar.com |
The last and final stop of the night was at The Polar Lounge. Momo does a great job of describing the interior in her post A Night in Gramercy in Review.
At TPL we received free shots from the very good looking bartenders and had our picture taken by a Perrier promoter.
There are pictures of polar bears all around the bar and I swear they remind me of Parker, even though he is neither a bear or white.
The very best part about this lounge is that it is on the corner of my street. I had yet to realize this because TPL is located in the basement of the Marcel Hotel at Gramercy and the door is unmarked. We had such a great time that there is no doubt in my mind that Momo and I will be drinking at this lounge quite often.
I knew I would miss the East Village when I left it but, after "roomie night out" #1, it seems a love of Gramercy Park has commenced.
11.17.2010
All I Want For Hanukkah Is...
With Hanukkah just around the corner I decided to divert from my usual spazzy posts to share with all of you some items that I don't need that I want as presents.
During my 'Googling' I stumbled upon 8 things (one for each night) that are perfectly suited for a Couture Hippie, Music Junkie, Video-Game Pro, Avid Reader of Books, Philosophy Lover, Dedicated Blogger, Thrill Seeker, Super Hero Enthusiast, Dog Owner residing in New York City like myself.
#1. Calendar "The Best Lyrics Ever"
"The Best Lyrics Ever" calendar features a different song lyric (season appropriate) for each month written in a different style.
#2. Ceramic Gun Flower Vase!
Not only do I love flowers, but I love love love shooting guns. I'm a bit like Robin Scherbatsky from "How I Met Your Mother" that way.
#3. White Patchouli Perfume by Tom Ford
I currently wear Flowerbomb by Viktor and Rolf...
but when I smelled this amazing new fragrance by Tom Ford at Sephora I immediately knew it was perfect for my Couture Hippie style.
I moved into a new apartment just last week with Momo and there is plenty of space in the living room for Parker to have a bed. I found this one at Bow Wow Beds. Only thing to decide now is the color.
#5. Autobiographies/Memoirs
Pictures and Descriptions via Amazon
Decoded is an eloquent and candid memoir detailing the story of a man who was born in a Brooklyn housing project, spent his teen years dealing drugs on the streets of Trenton, New Jersey, and grew up to be one of his generation’s most successful artists and businessmen
“I didn’t decide to become anorexic. It snuck up on me disguised as a healthy diet, a professional attitude. Being as thin as possible was a way to make the job of being an actress easier . . .”
Life...is way more than a revealing showbiz memoir. It is also a high-def, high-velocity portrait of the era when rock 'n' roll came of age, a raw report from deep inside the counterculture maelstrom of how that music swept like a tsunami over Britain and the United States. It's an eye-opening all-nighter in the studio with a master craftsman disclosing the alchemical secrets of his art.
#6. Literature and Fiction Books
In many ways, Jack is a typical 5-year-old...But Jack is different in a big way--he has lived his entire life in a single room, sharing the tiny space with only his mother and an unnerving nighttime visitor known as Old Nick. For Jack, Room is the only world he knows, but for Ma, it is a prison in which she has tried to craft a normal life for her son. When their insular world suddenly expands beyond the confines of their four walls, the consequences are piercing and extraordinary.
In Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk, foibled fabular heroines are given the opportunity to, finally, display all those humanlike thoughts and behaviors they’ve been banned from for ages. There’s the motherless bear who alienates herself with her incessant, self-centered solicitations of pity, and the potbellied pig who, no matter the diet, just can’t lose his breed-inherited descriptor.
#7. Non Fiction Books
In order to explain the universe, the authors write, "we need to know not only how the universe behaves, but why." While no single theory exists yet, scientists are approaching that goal with what is called "M-theory," a collection of overlapping theories (including string theory) that fill in many (but not all) the blank spots in quantum physics; this collection is known as the "Grand Unified Field Theories." This may all finally explain the mystery of the universe's creation without recourse to a divine creator.
The financial crisis that exploded in 2008 isn’t past but prologue. The stunning rise, fall, and rescue of Wall Street in the bubble-and-bailout era was the coming-out party for the network of looters who sit at the nexus of American political and economic power. The grifter class—made up of the largest players in the financial industry and the politicians who do their bidding—has been growing in power for a generation, transferring wealth upward through increasingly complex financial mechanisms and political maneuvers. The crisis was only one terrifying manifestation of how they’ve hijacked America’s political and economic life.
During my 'Googling' I stumbled upon 8 things (one for each night) that are perfectly suited for a Couture Hippie, Music Junkie, Video-Game Pro, Avid Reader of Books, Philosophy Lover, Dedicated Blogger, Thrill Seeker, Super Hero Enthusiast, Dog Owner residing in New York City like myself.
#1. Calendar "The Best Lyrics Ever"
"The Best Lyrics Ever" calendar features a different song lyric (season appropriate) for each month written in a different style.
So I cut off my hair and I rode straight away, to The Wild Unknown country where I could not go wrong - Bob Dylan
 | ||
| via The Wild Unknown |
 |
| via Suck UK |
Not only do I love flowers, but I love love love shooting guns. I'm a bit like Robin Scherbatsky from "How I Met Your Mother" that way. #3. White Patchouli Perfume by Tom Ford
I currently wear Flowerbomb by Viktor and Rolf...
but when I smelled this amazing new fragrance by Tom Ford at Sephora I immediately knew it was perfect for my Couture Hippie style.
# 4. Personalized Bed for my puppy Parker
#5. Autobiographies/Memoirs
Pictures and Descriptions via Amazon
“I didn’t decide to become anorexic. It snuck up on me disguised as a healthy diet, a professional attitude. Being as thin as possible was a way to make the job of being an actress easier . . .”
Portia de Rossi captures the complex emotional truth of what it is like when food, weight, and body image take priority over every other human impulse or action
Life...is way more than a revealing showbiz memoir. It is also a high-def, high-velocity portrait of the era when rock 'n' roll came of age, a raw report from deep inside the counterculture maelstrom of how that music swept like a tsunami over Britain and the United States. It's an eye-opening all-nighter in the studio with a master craftsman disclosing the alchemical secrets of his art.
#6. Literature and Fiction Books
In many ways, Jack is a typical 5-year-old...But Jack is different in a big way--he has lived his entire life in a single room, sharing the tiny space with only his mother and an unnerving nighttime visitor known as Old Nick. For Jack, Room is the only world he knows, but for Ma, it is a prison in which she has tried to craft a normal life for her son. When their insular world suddenly expands beyond the confines of their four walls, the consequences are piercing and extraordinary.
In Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk, foibled fabular heroines are given the opportunity to, finally, display all those humanlike thoughts and behaviors they’ve been banned from for ages. There’s the motherless bear who alienates herself with her incessant, self-centered solicitations of pity, and the potbellied pig who, no matter the diet, just can’t lose his breed-inherited descriptor.
#7. Non Fiction Books
The financial crisis that exploded in 2008 isn’t past but prologue. The stunning rise, fall, and rescue of Wall Street in the bubble-and-bailout era was the coming-out party for the network of looters who sit at the nexus of American political and economic power. The grifter class—made up of the largest players in the financial industry and the politicians who do their bidding—has been growing in power for a generation, transferring wealth upward through increasingly complex financial mechanisms and political maneuvers. The crisis was only one terrifying manifestation of how they’ve hijacked America’s political and economic life.
Why do some people succeed, living remarkably productive and impactful lives, while so many more never reach their potential? Challenging our cherished belief of the "self-made man," he makes the democratic assertion that superstars don't arise out of nowhere, propelled by genius and talent: "they are invariably the beneficiaries of hidden advantages and extraordinary opportunities and cultural legacies that allow them to learn and work hard and make sense of the world in ways others cannot."
Addresses a "logical slippage"--as James Ryerson puts it--in Richard Taylor's six famous presuppositions that contend that man has no control over his fate. The paper, a survey of Taylor's argument and its influence on late-20th-century philosophy, is reprinted in its entirety, and the language of modal logic can be heavy going at times--be prepared for pages of highly specialized discussion on logic that necessitate accompanying diagrams. Still, as an early glimpse at the preoccupations of one of the 20th century's most compelling and philosophical authors, it is invaluable, and Wallace's conclusion--"if Taylor and the fatalists want to force upon us a metaphysical conclusion, they must do metaphysics, not semantics"--is simply elegant.
#8. Tickets to Spider-Man Turn Off The Dark on Broadway
I am excited about this show not only because it is about Spider-Man (who Parker was named after) and received great reviews but because the music and lyrics are by Bono and The Edge of U2 and because it is supposed to be a new take on the classic comic story.
Director Julie Taymor (past works include The Lion King and The Magic Flute) said in an article about the play in Vogue that:
The slideshow can be seen its entirety here
The official site to buy tickets can be found here
Addresses a "logical slippage"--as James Ryerson puts it--in Richard Taylor's six famous presuppositions that contend that man has no control over his fate. The paper, a survey of Taylor's argument and its influence on late-20th-century philosophy, is reprinted in its entirety, and the language of modal logic can be heavy going at times--be prepared for pages of highly specialized discussion on logic that necessitate accompanying diagrams. Still, as an early glimpse at the preoccupations of one of the 20th century's most compelling and philosophical authors, it is invaluable, and Wallace's conclusion--"if Taylor and the fatalists want to force upon us a metaphysical conclusion, they must do metaphysics, not semantics"--is simply elegant.
#8. Tickets to Spider-Man Turn Off The Dark on Broadway
I am excited about this show not only because it is about Spider-Man (who Parker was named after) and received great reviews but because the music and lyrics are by Bono and The Edge of U2 and because it is supposed to be a new take on the classic comic story.
Director Julie Taymor (past works include The Lion King and The Magic Flute) said in an article about the play in Vogue that:
“Spider-Man is a genuine American myth with a dark, primal power. But it’s also got this great superhero, and—hey!—he can fly through the theater at 40 miles an hour. It’s got villains, it’s got skyscrapers, it’s colorful, it’s Manhattan. I knew it would be a challenge, but I saw the inherent theatricality in it, and I couldn’t resist.”The Vogue article is accompanied by stunning photographs taken by Annie Liebovitz.
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CAPTIVE AUDIENCEMary Jane (Jennifer Damiano) falls into the clutches of the Green Goblin (Patrick Page). Will Spider-Man save the day?Alexander McQueen red printed silk chiffon bustier dress. Shot on location at Foxwoods Theatre, NYC. Mask by Julie Taymor. Fashion Editor: Tonne Goodman. Photographed by Annie Leibovitz |
The official site to buy tickets can be found here
10.28.2010
Spazmania
There are so many exciting things happening in my life right now that I feel like I am in a constant state of spazmania.
On November 5th I am moving into the most fabtastic duplex/penthouse apartment with Momo. The only thing is I have to be out of my current place by the 1st so I've been packing packing packing packing.
Moving out of my apartment is bittersweet, I am uber excited to live with one of my best friends but I am sad to leave Eve. When we moved in together we were simply acquaintances set up by our mutual friend Sabotage. But in the past year we have become really close and have had many wild and hilarious moments. I am waiting to see what happens this weekend with Halloween before blogging about our year together. For now we can revisit one of my most memorable posts about us as roommates; Attack Of The Pigeons!!
I have also started taking weekly private Karate lessons at New Generation Karate for self-defense purposes. I always thought the idea of self-defense for a woman was silly because if abeast huge man is coming at me it's certain he will win. But I could not be more wrong. My instructor is teaching me techniques that will, at the very least, put an attacker in pain long enough thus allowing me sufficient time to run far away. The best part is I am actually not spazzy! I kick-ass at kicking ass! Karate is also the best stress reliever, a very close second to shooting guns. I do a lot of things to lower my stress level - I run at least three times a week and take Bikram yoga classes (though I have not gone to Bikram in some time) and I use this blog as an outlet for my thoughts. But NOTHING releases tension from your body quite like holding and shooting a machine that has the power to kill someone or using all your might to punch and kick at bags or at the pads worn by the instructor. It is also a very intense workout and leaves me in pain for 3-4 days afterward.You can watch me shoot here.
Running is something I started just over a year ago and I have grown to love it, to depend on it. When I started it took extreme effort to run just 1 mile, now I find that I can run 3 easily and am always pushing myself to complete 5. I signed up for the New York Road Runners 4 Mile Jingle Bell Jog - it's in December you should all come watch! While I can run semi-long distance, I am certain that I lack the necessary brain function to have complete coordination so I may or may not run with the same swagger as Pheobe Buffay.
Along with moving, running, karate and potentially being a personal trainer (more details to follow) I am in the process of starting MY OWN company. I can't go into too many details yet as I am looking into patenting my idea but it is going to be for dog owners in New York City. There is a blog that you can check out at http://www.tailmeaboutit.blogspot.com/ and you can follow my company on Twitter. I am so excited about it! I have partnered up with Starryeyed and we have 5 employees - Wild Child, Sabotage, Burns, Lo and PLands.
Oh! Wild Child and I started a collaborative blog called Novel Girl and The Magnetic Shiksa - check it out at http://hotmesssocialdiaries.blogspot.com/. We are two hot messes who dig alliteration and blog about books, bands and boys.
Lastly, cynical me has started reading a dating blog. It's written by a 24 year old woman and tells of her experiences with dating men in New York City. She's very honest, shares a lot of details and provides her own advice to singletons. Her stories are funny, happy, sad, exciting etc. She doesn't hold back or try to only show herself in a good light. She admits if she does something awkward or when things don't work out perfectly. What I like most about it is her positive outlook on finding a forever kind of love, it gives me a small hope that maybe, just maybe it really is possible. Most recently she was broken up with via BBM (we've all been there girl) and asked if anyone knew of someone to set her up with. I did! They went out last night and she blogged about how wonderful it was! Please check out her site if you don't already http://www.carlyschronicles.com/. Carly and I have never met, we've only 'tweeted' and emailed, but she trusted me and so far it seems things between her and my friend are going swimmingly!
Is matchmaking in the cards for me too? Just call me Yente.
Eeekk! So many happenings - total spazmania!
On November 5th I am moving into the most fabtastic duplex/penthouse apartment with Momo. The only thing is I have to be out of my current place by the 1st so I've been packing packing packing packing.
Moving out of my apartment is bittersweet, I am uber excited to live with one of my best friends but I am sad to leave Eve. When we moved in together we were simply acquaintances set up by our mutual friend Sabotage. But in the past year we have become really close and have had many wild and hilarious moments. I am waiting to see what happens this weekend with Halloween before blogging about our year together. For now we can revisit one of my most memorable posts about us as roommates; Attack Of The Pigeons!!
I have also started taking weekly private Karate lessons at New Generation Karate for self-defense purposes. I always thought the idea of self-defense for a woman was silly because if a
Running is something I started just over a year ago and I have grown to love it, to depend on it. When I started it took extreme effort to run just 1 mile, now I find that I can run 3 easily and am always pushing myself to complete 5. I signed up for the New York Road Runners 4 Mile Jingle Bell Jog - it's in December you should all come watch! While I can run semi-long distance, I am certain that I lack the necessary brain function to have complete coordination so I may or may not run with the same swagger as Pheobe Buffay.
Along with moving, running, karate and potentially being a personal trainer (more details to follow) I am in the process of starting MY OWN company. I can't go into too many details yet as I am looking into patenting my idea but it is going to be for dog owners in New York City. There is a blog that you can check out at http://www.tailmeaboutit.blogspot.com/ and you can follow my company on Twitter. I am so excited about it! I have partnered up with Starryeyed and we have 5 employees - Wild Child, Sabotage, Burns, Lo and PLands.
Oh! Wild Child and I started a collaborative blog called Novel Girl and The Magnetic Shiksa - check it out at http://hotmesssocialdiaries.blogspot.com/. We are two hot messes who dig alliteration and blog about books, bands and boys.
Lastly, cynical me has started reading a dating blog. It's written by a 24 year old woman and tells of her experiences with dating men in New York City. She's very honest, shares a lot of details and provides her own advice to singletons. Her stories are funny, happy, sad, exciting etc. She doesn't hold back or try to only show herself in a good light. She admits if she does something awkward or when things don't work out perfectly. What I like most about it is her positive outlook on finding a forever kind of love, it gives me a small hope that maybe, just maybe it really is possible. Most recently she was broken up with via BBM (we've all been there girl) and asked if anyone knew of someone to set her up with. I did! They went out last night and she blogged about how wonderful it was! Please check out her site if you don't already http://www.carlyschronicles.com/. Carly and I have never met, we've only 'tweeted' and emailed, but she trusted me and so far it seems things between her and my friend are going swimmingly!
Is matchmaking in the cards for me too? Just call me Yente.
Eeekk! So many happenings - total spazmania!
10.21.2010
Cynical Me Or My Thoughts on Soulmates Love & The Concept of Fate
Blogspiration came to me when Momo asked via Twitter if anyone believed in 'love at first sight' or in a 'soul mate.' I vehemently responded "NO and NO." Wild Child said "Lust at first at sight and more than one soul mate" and then proceeded to call me a cynic.
I am single. I chose to be single. When I ended my relationship with my ex fourteen months ago I knew what I was getting into. I was warned by my girlfriends that were single at the time that dating in NYC is a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad thing. I didn't care; I was unhappy with my current situation and excited to be single again.
And boy has it been fun.
It isn't so much that I don't believe in love. I love my family. I have best friends that I love. I have a dog who I love and who loves me back unconditionally. My parents are still married and in love and both sets of grandparents were never divorced. Most recently I have best friends that have gotten engaged and their happiness proves that loving someone enough to spend the rest of your life with them is possible. But did they find their 'soulmate'? Andy Warhol wondered, "if it's possible to have a love affair that lasts forever." Honestly I'd like to answer yes.
But when you get down to the nitty gritty I just don't think its for me. It's important to remember that I was in two relationships that lasted around three years so it isn't like I don't have experience with that. It's just that men these days bore me so easily. Here's what happens - I will meet a guy, we will get to know each other and if I find them intriguing then more talking, perhaps on a deeper more intimate level, will ensue. That's when they think I want a relationship and the games begin; subsequently, I lose interest immediately. The flip side is things move too fast and then my commitment fear kicks in and those guys don't stand a chance. Wild Child has coined men these days 'man-boys' and has written a terrific post about them HERE.
It's almost like the whole 'lets just get to know each other and hang out' stage doesn't exist anymore. It was certainly cool in college. Either they come on too strong, or they think all women are the same - we want to marry them immediately, after knowing them for like two minutes. Talk about having major egos - which naturally makes them all the more sexy, naturally.
Women like me make it tough for men that actually like us. They need to find that perfect balance of romance to satisfy our needs as a female combined with just the right amount of doucheness to keep us intrigued. I recently told my male friend DL that I can not stand overly nice guys and actually like it when a guy is a dick sometimes. He responded with "F*ck you B*tch get over here now." His point was crystal clear. Men need to understand that there is a huge difference between being slightly arrogant and cocky versus being a total douchelord.
I always tell Wild Child that I want to be a successful business woman. One who, if I do end up meeting a man who doesn't bore me and I marry, will be financially independent of her husband. In the meantime however, I'd like to make a lot of money and travel and have a lover in every city.
My friend Mamacita is one of those single women ready for a husband and to settle down. She is a huge advocate of online dating services since the men in this city (and it seems in most other cities too) totally suck. These sites are not for me. I am not against them in any way and I know that they prove to be very successful. It's just not my style. I did however check out Match.com tonight since I am battling with a terrible bout of insomnia. For FREE I was able to pick and choose very specific qualities I wanted in a man. Some may find that like totally awesome, I think its like totally freaky. I mean why don't I just type in MARK SANCHEZ. If only...
Aside from your standard A/S/L (I'm hoping you all remember AOL chatrooms and know what that means) I answered these questions:
Height: 5'11"-6'4" Body Type: Slender, Athletic/Toned
Hair and Eye Color: I chose 'any' for both - come on I'm not that superficial.
Sports: I am a spaz so I am no good at sports - but I like them.
Common Interests: Reads books, likes music, likes to travel...
Marital Status: Um, I am 26 so 'never married' thanks.
Religion: Agnostic/Athiest would be the most convenient Jewish would make my mom happy.
Then there are political views, language and level of education: Please speak English, and if you are going to actually have a political view at least have a B.A. and be intelligent enough to defend your side.
Lifestyle was probably the easiest: Non-smoker, social drinker, gym rat, has no kids but wants kids and likes dogs because I have one.
Occupation: JUST HAVE A JOB.
Holy Crap! I can choose 'Salary Range'! Who would pick the lowest? 150k+ please, thanks.
Zodiac Sign: Anything but Gemini - haha jk Wild Child - I love you girl.
Finally an 'optional' Keyword box: Dougie
No matches. Shocking. I guess my 'soulmate' isn't on that site.
Soulmate believers will say that I just haven't met mine yet. That's like saying, "everything works out in the end, if it hasn't worked out its not the end" or however that bullshit saying goes. If you believe in that, then you believe in fate and you believe that everything is already predetermined. If that's the case then we have absolutely no freewill which is a terrifying realization. The best defense people have told me with regards to this statement comes from the movie Can't Hardly Wait "Fate! There is such a thing as fate, but it only takes you so far. Then it's up to you to make it happen." You know who says that? The character is called 'Angel Stripper.' It is a totally bogus load of crap.
If anyone knows a dude that's at least 5'11, is thin/athletic, likes sports, likes music, reads, has never been married, is Jewish but not religious, speaks English, is intelligent, graduated from college, doesn't smoke cigarettes, drinks socially, wants kids, is a gym rat, likes dogs, and has a job and can Dougie - send 'em my way.
I feel like that describes every boring man I know. I'm lucky I'm pretty because it looks like I won't be settling down anytime soon.
I am single. I chose to be single. When I ended my relationship with my ex fourteen months ago I knew what I was getting into. I was warned by my girlfriends that were single at the time that dating in NYC is a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad thing. I didn't care; I was unhappy with my current situation and excited to be single again.
And boy has it been fun.
It isn't so much that I don't believe in love. I love my family. I have best friends that I love. I have a dog who I love and who loves me back unconditionally. My parents are still married and in love and both sets of grandparents were never divorced. Most recently I have best friends that have gotten engaged and their happiness proves that loving someone enough to spend the rest of your life with them is possible. But did they find their 'soulmate'? Andy Warhol wondered, "if it's possible to have a love affair that lasts forever." Honestly I'd like to answer yes.
But when you get down to the nitty gritty I just don't think its for me. It's important to remember that I was in two relationships that lasted around three years so it isn't like I don't have experience with that. It's just that men these days bore me so easily. Here's what happens - I will meet a guy, we will get to know each other and if I find them intriguing then more talking, perhaps on a deeper more intimate level, will ensue. That's when they think I want a relationship and the games begin; subsequently, I lose interest immediately. The flip side is things move too fast and then my commitment fear kicks in and those guys don't stand a chance. Wild Child has coined men these days 'man-boys' and has written a terrific post about them HERE.
It's almost like the whole 'lets just get to know each other and hang out' stage doesn't exist anymore. It was certainly cool in college. Either they come on too strong, or they think all women are the same - we want to marry them immediately, after knowing them for like two minutes. Talk about having major egos - which naturally makes them all the more sexy, naturally.
Women like me make it tough for men that actually like us. They need to find that perfect balance of romance to satisfy our needs as a female combined with just the right amount of doucheness to keep us intrigued. I recently told my male friend DL that I can not stand overly nice guys and actually like it when a guy is a dick sometimes. He responded with "F*ck you B*tch get over here now." His point was crystal clear. Men need to understand that there is a huge difference between being slightly arrogant and cocky versus being a total douchelord.
I always tell Wild Child that I want to be a successful business woman. One who, if I do end up meeting a man who doesn't bore me and I marry, will be financially independent of her husband. In the meantime however, I'd like to make a lot of money and travel and have a lover in every city.
My friend Mamacita is one of those single women ready for a husband and to settle down. She is a huge advocate of online dating services since the men in this city (and it seems in most other cities too) totally suck. These sites are not for me. I am not against them in any way and I know that they prove to be very successful. It's just not my style. I did however check out Match.com tonight since I am battling with a terrible bout of insomnia. For FREE I was able to pick and choose very specific qualities I wanted in a man. Some may find that like totally awesome, I think its like totally freaky. I mean why don't I just type in MARK SANCHEZ. If only...
Aside from your standard A/S/L (I'm hoping you all remember AOL chatrooms and know what that means) I answered these questions:
Height: 5'11"-6'4" Body Type: Slender, Athletic/Toned
Hair and Eye Color: I chose 'any' for both - come on I'm not that superficial.
Sports: I am a spaz so I am no good at sports - but I like them.
Common Interests: Reads books, likes music, likes to travel...
Marital Status: Um, I am 26 so 'never married' thanks.
Religion: Agnostic/Athiest would be the most convenient Jewish would make my mom happy.
Then there are political views, language and level of education: Please speak English, and if you are going to actually have a political view at least have a B.A. and be intelligent enough to defend your side.
Lifestyle was probably the easiest: Non-smoker, social drinker, gym rat, has no kids but wants kids and likes dogs because I have one.
Occupation: JUST HAVE A JOB.
Holy Crap! I can choose 'Salary Range'! Who would pick the lowest? 150k+ please, thanks.
Zodiac Sign: Anything but Gemini - haha jk Wild Child - I love you girl.
Finally an 'optional' Keyword box: Dougie
No matches. Shocking. I guess my 'soulmate' isn't on that site.
Soulmate believers will say that I just haven't met mine yet. That's like saying, "everything works out in the end, if it hasn't worked out its not the end" or however that bullshit saying goes. If you believe in that, then you believe in fate and you believe that everything is already predetermined. If that's the case then we have absolutely no freewill which is a terrifying realization. The best defense people have told me with regards to this statement comes from the movie Can't Hardly Wait "Fate! There is such a thing as fate, but it only takes you so far. Then it's up to you to make it happen." You know who says that? The character is called 'Angel Stripper.' It is a totally bogus load of crap.
If anyone knows a dude that's at least 5'11, is thin/athletic, likes sports, likes music, reads, has never been married, is Jewish but not religious, speaks English, is intelligent, graduated from college, doesn't smoke cigarettes, drinks socially, wants kids, is a gym rat, likes dogs, and has a job and can Dougie - send 'em my way.
I feel like that describes every boring man I know. I'm lucky I'm pretty because it looks like I won't be settling down anytime soon.
10.14.2010
The Homeless Man Consortium - Theory.
Because I am interested in conspiracy theories, whenever something goes awry I am convinced there is conniving treachery behind it. And because I can sometimes be naive, I give everyone the benefit of the doubt until they prove me otherwise.
Having a dog means that I spend more time walking aimlessly around New York City with no destination than someone who does not own a dog. Walking without direction and with a dog makes you an open target for random conversation with friendly strangers. Sometimes this can be great, these "microwave-relationships" allow me to meet some bizarre individuals that serve as a nice break from the banality that is dog-walking.
Some of my more interesting dog-walking experiences involved a Mexican standoff between my dog and Larry David, a run in with Tom Cruise and Suri, finding out one of my neighbors is a trapeze instructor and of course getting hit on by a variety of men and women who have used some very original pick up lines/techniques that would fill up an entirely different post. I also had the opportunity last March to meet Homeless Man Tom who, up until last night's encounter, changed my view of the homeless in New York City.
Basically, I am now convinced that the homeless men in the vicinity of my apartment are acting in collusion to use me as the primary benefactor to fund the Homeless Man Consortium.
If you read my earlier post about Homeless Man Tom you would know that he is one of those homeless men that have hysterical signs. I was at first skeptical because I thought if he is creative enough to make such clever signs, is he really homeless?? But after learning his story (he's a Veteran and can't get a job, tries to make $20 a day to stay at a place he found because the conditions are better than at the Bowery Mission) and that he makes funny signs because it keeps him going on with life by taking his mind off of the struggles that he deals with daily (without his signs - he would just give up) my heart melted. I found myself truly caring about this man and I began to give him whatever singles I had on me whenever I passed him. As time went on and after a myriad of conversations HMT and I formed a sort of friendship, a friendship that involved him learning my dog's name and petting him from time to time and helping me parallel park my car by guiding me into a spot.
My dog-walking experiences morphed from a chore that I rushed through because it was one of the less exciting parts of my adult life to something meaningful, something so meaningful that it snapped me out of my own head, my head filled with rudimentary thoughts, and I became aware of those around me. Instead of assuming every homeless man (or woman) I saw was a crack head or unworthy of attention or just going to use my dollars for booze, I conjured up all sorts of reasons for why they were living on the street, filthy, asking for a dollar and somehow still maintaining a belief in God.
Recently however, I noticed that I was not only giving my dollars to HMT and to the random homeless man who's path I crossed, but that there were at least three new men living on my street that were now recipients. There's Old Crazy Hat Man who's name I don't know because he has no teeth and mumbles, Jack Daniels who sits on a crate and cradles an empty bottle of Jack, and most recently there is a man that resides on 3rd avenue that I haven't had the opportunity to converse with yet. None of this seemed strange to me until I saw HMT last night.
He had a new sign that said something about him being a Funky Monkey and when he saw me staring he waved and then hollered to my dog, by name, who of course responded to his beckoning jubilantly because HMT smells like a combination of old food and poop. I went over and realized that it had been some time since I last saw him. A very long time in fact. He asked my dog to sit and then to lay down and then proceeded to pet him. And that's when I noticed he was wearing a watch! If you don't have a home, I would think you would also not possess a watch. He asked my dog to give him kisses, which he thankfully did not obey. I awkwardly made the excuse that my dog doesn't like to kiss people he doesn't know. HMT said, nah its cool I will get him to, I used to be a dog trainer. Now please correct if I am wrong - but I never heard of someone needing to be a dog trainer while they were fighting in wars. This man duped me. He saw me coming from a mile away and took advantage of my donations.
I now believe the new homeless men that have relocated near my apartment are there because they just want MY money. Obviously it's all about me. I am the center of a conspiracy! I am, if not the sole contributor, than the primary benefactor of The Homeless Man Consortium. It's a theory, but so is gravity...until I'm proved otherwise it'll just be left that I'm lucky I'm pretty. How else could I get away with this?
Having a dog means that I spend more time walking aimlessly around New York City with no destination than someone who does not own a dog. Walking without direction and with a dog makes you an open target for random conversation with friendly strangers. Sometimes this can be great, these "microwave-relationships" allow me to meet some bizarre individuals that serve as a nice break from the banality that is dog-walking.
Some of my more interesting dog-walking experiences involved a Mexican standoff between my dog and Larry David, a run in with Tom Cruise and Suri, finding out one of my neighbors is a trapeze instructor and of course getting hit on by a variety of men and women who have used some very original pick up lines/techniques that would fill up an entirely different post. I also had the opportunity last March to meet Homeless Man Tom who, up until last night's encounter, changed my view of the homeless in New York City.
Basically, I am now convinced that the homeless men in the vicinity of my apartment are acting in collusion to use me as the primary benefactor to fund the Homeless Man Consortium.
If you read my earlier post about Homeless Man Tom you would know that he is one of those homeless men that have hysterical signs. I was at first skeptical because I thought if he is creative enough to make such clever signs, is he really homeless?? But after learning his story (he's a Veteran and can't get a job, tries to make $20 a day to stay at a place he found because the conditions are better than at the Bowery Mission) and that he makes funny signs because it keeps him going on with life by taking his mind off of the struggles that he deals with daily (without his signs - he would just give up) my heart melted. I found myself truly caring about this man and I began to give him whatever singles I had on me whenever I passed him. As time went on and after a myriad of conversations HMT and I formed a sort of friendship, a friendship that involved him learning my dog's name and petting him from time to time and helping me parallel park my car by guiding me into a spot.
My dog-walking experiences morphed from a chore that I rushed through because it was one of the less exciting parts of my adult life to something meaningful, something so meaningful that it snapped me out of my own head, my head filled with rudimentary thoughts, and I became aware of those around me. Instead of assuming every homeless man (or woman) I saw was a crack head or unworthy of attention or just going to use my dollars for booze, I conjured up all sorts of reasons for why they were living on the street, filthy, asking for a dollar and somehow still maintaining a belief in God.
Recently however, I noticed that I was not only giving my dollars to HMT and to the random homeless man who's path I crossed, but that there were at least three new men living on my street that were now recipients. There's Old Crazy Hat Man who's name I don't know because he has no teeth and mumbles, Jack Daniels who sits on a crate and cradles an empty bottle of Jack, and most recently there is a man that resides on 3rd avenue that I haven't had the opportunity to converse with yet. None of this seemed strange to me until I saw HMT last night.
He had a new sign that said something about him being a Funky Monkey and when he saw me staring he waved and then hollered to my dog, by name, who of course responded to his beckoning jubilantly because HMT smells like a combination of old food and poop. I went over and realized that it had been some time since I last saw him. A very long time in fact. He asked my dog to sit and then to lay down and then proceeded to pet him. And that's when I noticed he was wearing a watch! If you don't have a home, I would think you would also not possess a watch. He asked my dog to give him kisses, which he thankfully did not obey. I awkwardly made the excuse that my dog doesn't like to kiss people he doesn't know. HMT said, nah its cool I will get him to, I used to be a dog trainer. Now please correct if I am wrong - but I never heard of someone needing to be a dog trainer while they were fighting in wars. This man duped me. He saw me coming from a mile away and took advantage of my donations.
I now believe the new homeless men that have relocated near my apartment are there because they just want MY money. Obviously it's all about me. I am the center of a conspiracy! I am, if not the sole contributor, than the primary benefactor of The Homeless Man Consortium. It's a theory, but so is gravity...until I'm proved otherwise it'll just be left that I'm lucky I'm pretty. How else could I get away with this?
10.12.2010
Where Is Never, Neverland And How Do I Get There?
Just when I am in desperate need of 'blogspiration,' Wild Child visits New York and is the perfect catalyst to kick me back into gear and get my creative juices flowing. The reason for her visit: my super sweet 21st 26th birthday debauchery party. As always, when it comes to WC, mucho censoring is needed a requirement.
Stirring with anticipation of WC's arrival on Friday night and having already made plans for us party girls to party, I gave myself two full hours to get dressed and ready. Two hours being ample time,even for me, to prepare for a random night of mayhem with a spectacular crew. So when my doorbell buzzed, and this cool cat from Rhode Island turned New York City aficionado was doing the buzzing, I was of course still in a towel with partially blow dried hair sans makeup completely ready and immediately urging her to get to that point too.
Aboutan hour and a half forty-five minutes later and after determining that if we were dudes we would totally bang us we looked super fly, we hailed a cab and made our way to JJ Backstreet's apartment for some pre-bar libations.
JB was, per usual, a perfect host and we proceeded to drink from his liquor stock until we were intoxicated enough tobe just below the point of blackout status be drunk but still pass as normal, functioning members of society. After taking a couple more shots each for good measure and now content with our inebriety we made our way to that evening's bar of choice, The Volstead.
We were going there tocrash attend the birthday party of some girl none of us knew and ended up successfully unintentionally taking over the bar area since we were rolling about 10-12 people deep. More drinking ensued and, while my brain is only able to conjure up a picture book of memories, it seems as though the rest of the night went a little something like this: Patron, Prosecco, Dougie. Repeat x-Infinity. And as if that weren't enough, I woke up the next morning to a picture text message from Momo of one of our friends with his face badly scraped and bleeding a little banged up. Apparently there was a minor scuffle outside the bar and garbage cans were thrown, also apparent - I blacked out.
Saturday was dedicated to me beautifying myself for that night's big event, my birthday (shared with Momo's) soiree. While I got my hair did, Wild Child meandered around Soho with our friend AA checking out galleries, shopping and spotting Jared Leto. All of this naturally resulted in a new found love of yet another area of Manhattan for WC. Naturally.
The party that nightfrom what I can remember was spectacular. All of my friends that I wanted with me to celebrate my becoming an old lady were in attendance. I love having big birthday parties, and have been doing so since my 21st, because it's the one time of the year I get to have all my favorite people around me at the same time.
When we woke up Sunday morning Wild Child and I tried to piece together exactly what went down the night before. If Friday night was a picture book of memories, Saturday was the same - but with pages ripped out. Walking into my kitchen we saw an absurd amount of garbage from McDonalds - this was thanks to my roommate's boyfriend who ordered everything off of the menu for himself, dropped it on the floor, then went back and ordered the same all over again. Upon review of text messages, BBMs, outgoing calls and an investigative brunch with Momo and JJ Backstreet - we deduced that the party wasdebauchery for all totally awesome with just a few minor bumps. I had messages that my friend's boyfriend ended up in the emergency room after being hit on the head with a bottle in the bathroom, clues pointed out that we participated in some mind expansion around 5am, heard stories that some new loves were formed and old loves were ended and learned of a few minor brawls between friends. If that doesn't spell successful party - then I don't know what does.
Hungover, exhausted and incapable of formulating clear sentences the four of us moseyed on down to Union Square so that I could attempt to gain back some brain activity by playing Chess with one of the men in the park. I lost, but the man I played said, "you're actually pretty good, I'm shocked." I assured him I will be back. Momo performed her hilarious and eerily very on point impersonation of Ms. Swan from MadTv. I thennaively approached met a peace activist who promoted his views through "Peace Through Face Sitting." Wild Child and I bought some "I Music NY" shirts and all JB wanted to do was buy some batteries and then it was time for us to say good bye.
I truly believe it's important to party all the time and as often as possible while we are still lucky to be pretty. Because aging is inevitable and although I am trying to hold on to my youth for as long as possible, I fear turning 26 may be the tipping point...
In the mean time - Wild Child, you rock - I'll be seeing you in 24 days for a 'Newportant' and what I am sure will be awildly crazy perfectly under control weekend!
Stirring with anticipation of WC's arrival on Friday night and having already made plans for us party girls to party, I gave myself two full hours to get dressed and ready. Two hours being ample time,
About
JB was, per usual, a perfect host and we proceeded to drink from his liquor stock until we were intoxicated enough to
We were going there to
Saturday was dedicated to me beautifying myself for that night's big event, my birthday (shared with Momo's) soiree. While I got my hair did, Wild Child meandered around Soho with our friend AA checking out galleries, shopping and spotting Jared Leto. All of this naturally resulted in a new found love of yet another area of Manhattan for WC. Naturally.
The party that night
When we woke up Sunday morning Wild Child and I tried to piece together exactly what went down the night before. If Friday night was a picture book of memories, Saturday was the same - but with pages ripped out. Walking into my kitchen we saw an absurd amount of garbage from McDonalds - this was thanks to my roommate's boyfriend who ordered everything off of the menu for himself, dropped it on the floor, then went back and ordered the same all over again. Upon review of text messages, BBMs, outgoing calls and an investigative brunch with Momo and JJ Backstreet - we deduced that the party was
Hungover, exhausted and incapable of formulating clear sentences the four of us moseyed on down to Union Square so that I could attempt to gain back some brain activity by playing Chess with one of the men in the park. I lost, but the man I played said, "you're actually pretty good, I'm shocked." I assured him I will be back. Momo performed her hilarious and eerily very on point impersonation of Ms. Swan from MadTv. I then
I truly believe it's important to party all the time and as often as possible while we are still lucky to be pretty. Because aging is inevitable and although I am trying to hold on to my youth for as long as possible, I fear turning 26 may be the tipping point...
In the mean time - Wild Child, you rock - I'll be seeing you in 24 days for a 'Newportant' and what I am sure will be a
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