Perhaps before I continue with the story it would be wise to provide you with a little bit of background information on this chick. If for no other reason than to provide a few more laughs at the expense of one of my best friends.
Starry Eyes and I met during the spring semester of our freshman year at college. We were fortunate enough to have a class together (during which I persistently badgered her to go through sorority rush) and after a series of fortuitous events she ended up receiving a bid to my sorority and the extraordinary friendship that we still maintain was set into motion. A lot of people would describe their best friend as someone who is on the same page as them in life or that they have a lot in common with. That is not the case for Starry Eyes and myself. In fact, we may as well be polar opposites. But like one of my favorite pop idols, Paula Abdul, once said
"we come together cuz opposites attract."SE is the type of girl that, if she could remember, would always make sure to be wearing a skirt and stilettos when filling her car up with gasoline. She has never taken any illegal drugs, although she kept me wildly entertained while I was intoxicated during college by performing her hilarious impersonations of various cast members from both MADtv and SNL. Her hair and make up is always done, she grew up as a Jew in a predominantly WASPY town, has had a boyfriend for like a century and has no desire to have children . Starry Eyes is flighty yet brilliant, a dichotomous dame as Wild Child so cleverly put it by incorporating her love for alliteration. If not for an interest in fashion and shopping, a desire to take over the world, similar business ethics and views on religion, an ongoing passion for studying western philosophy and the simple fact that while we are both off the wall we manage to keep each other sane, our friendship would not have survived this many years. I have told her numerous times that she is my therapist and during college we referred to each other as "key chain" because we never went any where without the other.
I was with her when she got yelled at by the small gas station attendant after she overflowed her fuel tank in Providence while the two of us, clearly oblivious to our surroundings, sat in the car listening to whatever rap music, probably Chris Brown, this dainty white girl had blasting from her radio. SE was the first one on the scene when I ever so gracefully fell down the steep flight of stairs from the third floor to the second floor in the haunted mansion that eight of us inhabited senior year and checked on me at least half a dozen times to make sure I was alive. Starry Eyes was also the only one who always knew where my keys were hiding, because even back then I lost them quite often. I know that she stays up all night, wears only one contact lens and like me, wears a retainer every night, but I digress.
On this particular day at gymnastics Starry Eyes noticed her class had a new member; a ridiculously good looking male specimen was in attendance. SE was determined to show off her skills for this guy, forgetting for just a millisecond that she has a boyfriend. I mean, is it really so bad to flirt with a good looking stranger by performing "tricks" while wearing clothing only appropriate for gymnastics (and other activities requiring flexibility) during a class?? Anyways, SE strutted her stuff over to the uneven bars and prepared to do a move that she tells me is called a "cast to a free hip circle." This is a move that she does often and was confident enough in her ability to perform it successfully that she was certain said hottie would be impressed. Up she goes, she has two hands on the bar and prepares to flip over it- but! instead of going around the bar, she launched herself a little too far and landed on her face five feet away from her intended landing destination. Starry Eyes was kind enough to provide me with a photo of her war wound.
Hahaha! Oh! Starry Eyes, you're lucky you're pretty!!!