There Is A Difference Between Eating 'Healthy' And Eating 'Clean' ....If You're A Guido

This morning Hank Muscles and I had a rather interesting conversation about nutrition.  However, the primary focus of the conversation was how best to lose winter weight gain by summer.  When I mentioned to HM that I wanted to lose the weight I gained since last summer for this upcoming summer, his first question was

"Are you eating clean?"

I told him that I eat healthy.  HM then explained to me that eating clean and healthy are different; 'healthy' is eating healthy food while 'clean' is eating the right foods at the right time.

Read on to learn about the highly coveted never before shared Guido Diet Plan, courtesy of Hank Muscles. 

***Foods***

Carbohydrates and Sugars - These should only be eaten before noon and immediately before a workout for energy.

Cottage Cheese - This can be eaten right before bed because it is a very 'clean' food.  It is a slow digesting protein that actually forces your metabolism to burn through the night.  Essentially, according to HM, you lose more weight eating 1/2 a cup of CC  right before bed as opposed to eating nothing before bed.

Whole Wheat Pasta - Very healthy, but if eaten after 8pm the carbohydrates will be stored as fat while you are sleeping and your metabolism is shut down.  So if you like WWP it is better to have it with veggies for lunch than for dinner.

***Other Weight Loss Tricks***

1. HM says you should cover your meals in lemon juice or cayenne pepper because they help suppress your appetite. 

"natural appetite suppressant- now that doesn't mean u wont get hunger pangs, but it will reduce them. i make all my ckn covered in cayenne pepper...tastes like shit, but makes me think im full off of a 6oz ckn breast and 1 cup of broccoli"

2. According to HM you should also eat the minute you wake up. This is

"bc as u sleep ur body turns catabolic, so its hording fat and burning muscle to keep u alive while u sleep. so u need to eat as soon as u wake up to turn ur body from catabolic to anabolic.  meaning, have it start burning fat stores and food instead of ur muscle"  

3. HM says if you work out before eating anything you will actually be burning muscle instead of fat because there is not food in your stomach.  So if you like to work out in the morning you should

"drink some protein or eat something right b4 u leave, eat a hardbolied egg, or have a bowl of oatmeal and then run. ull burn more fat that way believe it or not. eating right after is great too, bc ur metabolism skyrockets, so whatever u eat will get burned quick".

4. Expect to lose 1-2 lbs of fat per week -

"the human liver can only process between 1-2 lbs of fat a week (i forget the exact figures) so if ur knocking off 5 lbs a week, it a mix of water, fat and muscle once all the water weights gone, then its just majority muscle"

5. Don't eat after 8pm.

"the general rule is to stop eating 3-4 hours b4 bed. girls have it easy tho u can just run and lose everything and not care. guys haveta tweak it a bit more, bc we need to lose fat and preserve muscle...i could easily drop 30 lbs in 3 months...but then ill be a scrawny twig".

So basically if you look like this, a fat guy in a little coat, now:

But want to look like The Situation by summer:

Then you should definitely follow Hank Muscles's diet plan.

A typical day in the life of Hank Muscles:
Breakfast: 2 scoops whey protein mixed with water
Mid Morning Snack (10:15): 1 can tuna straight out of the can & 1 cup brown rice
Lunch (12:30): 2 scoops whey protein mixed with 1 cup 1% milk
Gym Session (1:00): "Quick Cardio Sesh" according to HM's GChat status.
After Gym Snack (2:30):  12 Almonds
Mid Afternoon Snack (4:30): 6oz grilled chicken and 1 cup broccoli
Gym Session (5:30)
After Gym Snack: 2 scoops protein
Dinner: half cup cottage cheese and some sliced deli turkey

 
Boys and girls, you better get on it, only 3 months until summer!!!!